Posts tagged Sharpen the saw

Tattling vs. Getting Help.

At the White Oak Martial Arts Center, we do a great deal of things to help kids deal with being bullied.  Everything from websites, classroom presentation, to empowerment classes- you name it.  One of the things that comes up pretty much every time there is a conversation about bullying is this: what is the difference between tattling and getting help when you need it?  Kids are all told not to tattle, so often times they won’t ask for help when they need it because they are confused about the difference.

It’s simple.  Tattling is when somebody is doing something that is in no way harmful to you or anybody else and you tell on them anyway.  Getting help is when somebody is doing or saying something that is harmful to you or others and you ask an authority figure for help.

Tattling is when the kid next to you in school is doodling and you raise your hand to say, “Mrs. Jones, Bobby is drawing pictures when he should be listening to you.”  Getting help is when Bobby calls you a bad name and takes your lunch money, so you privately go to Mrs. Jones and say, “Mrs. Jones Bobby insulted me and then took my lunch money, can you please help me?”

Discuss this with your kids.

This is the kind of thing we teach at our school, if you would like more information about us please click here.

Here are some other resources on the subject.

http://www.metrokids.com/MetroKids/January-2010/Tattling-Versus-Telling/

http://www.kellybear.com/TeacherArticles/TeacherTip63.html

Black Belt Leaders can ninja on bad guys, but there’s much more….

Our students learn all about dealing with bullies, effective ways to say no to negative influences, and of course how to defend themselves against violence.  However, they also learn how to be contributing members of society, how to be leaders in whatever way is appropriate for them. Here’s what a couple of our Black Belt students did for one of their Lessons in Mastery. Yes, at our school education continues well after you earn your first Black Belt!

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THE SUMARY FOR:

The Charter for Compassion

Compassion means:

Treating people the way you wish to be treated.  “Don’t judge a book by its cover.”  Giving anyone complete justice, respect, and treating them equally as we would care for our family.  Wherever you are, you should always act kindly, avoiding being disrespectful in all ways, and not speaking badly of anyone, including the people we don’t like.  Never miss a chance to be kind and respectful.  Services are a good thing that leads up to compassion.  You do things you want to do, for instance, you go to the store with your parent because you want to, not because you feel you have to.  Helping elders, holding the door for someone, being kind; everything adds up.

We need to eliminate selfishness and bring back compassion and respect.  Selfishness is terrible, because it breaks respect, creates hatred and anger, etc.      Compassion helps a lot of things, and is crucial for human bonds.  It lays out the path to glory and successfulness, and is the ultimate creation of justice.

That is what COMPASSION means.

For more information about our school click here! 

Black Belt Leaders have Self Control.

One of the most valuable things that martial arts students learn is self control, the ability to think before you act.  We do this through the discipline of managing ourselves, and to be honest, learning to manage force, power, and violence.  Most little boys at one time or another turn a banana into a gun, play fight and wrestle, and display other forms of “play violence.”  Little girls do as well, but differently. As a father of only girls I was amazed to learn what girl world is like. It’s a scary place:). Basically, girls are violent as well, but it is much more Machiavellian.

My point is this, violence is an attempt to build power and as humans we seek power.  This in and of itself is not a bad thing, but this power needs to be honed and focused towards positive ends.  This is where a martial arts education in self control is so important.  We address force, power, and violence directly and teach how to control these things, this quest for personal power, and how to shape the power we seek into a positive direction instead of a destructive one.

Here is a short video with this lesson as it will be taught in class.

For more information about our school click here.

Two More Black Belt Leaders!

Congratulations to Zoe Kaplan and Elliot Gualano for earning their first degree Black Belts!  Earning a Black Belt with us is unique.  First of all, they do have to learn all of the moves, forms, techniques and what not.  However, the objective of learning these moves is self defense, not winning trophies.  Therefore, our Black Belt physical exam is based on one simple notion.  Can this person actually defend him or her self in a real self defense scenario?  Can the student improvise and not be forced to do a bunch of dogmatically memorized stuff? It takes more self discipline and self confidence to be creative than to just perform a bunch of memorized stuff.

But on top of knowing what to do, the student must also have a clear understanding of when to do these things.  Obviously we don’t want to have a student who is looking for a fight all the time.  Therefore we spend a great deal of time teaching a simple philosophy of use- use the smallest amount of force necessary to not get hurt, preferably none, with the objective of escape.

However, though there is the possibility of having to defend yourself against a physical attack, other attacks are much more likely- in fact I guarantee that they will take place.  Therefore our self defense curriculum spends a great deal of time working on defense against negative peer pressure, bullies, good nutrition choices, personal fear and self doubt, anger management, effective ways to say no, managing the environment, and many other real life challenges that out kids face every day.

And finally, out students learn a great deal of becoming an effective person.  A Black Belt Leader with us is the kind of person who is not negatively influenced by those around them, rather is a positive influence on those they come in contact with.  Out students learn about honesty, integrity, a positive attitude, gratitude, discipline, respect, self confidence, and a whole lot more.  These topics are taught in every class just like techniques are.  Not only that, but out students are required to actually do things to apply these lessons to their lives for each belt.  We call these tasks.

For Black Belt there is a community leadership task.  This time around Zoe lead a team to clean up the overpass bridge next to an elementary school, while Elliot lead an effort to raise money for gifts for the less fortunate.

Now that they have both earned their first degree Black Belt (and both did an amazing job on every challenge I threw at them) it is time for them to get to work on their second- with a whole new set of challenges!

If you would like more information about our school please click here.

A Thank You Note.

I recently received this awesome thank you note from one of our adult students.

Master Croley,

I want to thank you for helping me in more ways than one and for opening my mind.  I have only attended your classes for two months now and I have benefited physically, mentally, and it has impacted my relationships at work in a positive way. Through your “Black Belt Leadership Program” I have opened my heart to others that I normally wouldn’t have.  I have given with an open heart in hopes to build friendship, especially with one person I’ve had a hard time with at work. The results have been positive. Thank you!

The entire point of an education in the martial arts in to improve yourself, and that means more than just doing push ups.  I am thrilled to hear about our students taking the martial arts mindset and applying it to their lives.

For more information about out school please click here.

Theme of this Testing Cycle: Gratitude

It is easy to get hung up on all of the negative things that are happening in your life and in the world around you.  It is important to remember that your focus is your reality.  What you focus on the most is what will grow in your mind, and thus will guide your perspectives and your actions.  What it boils down to is that if you think about negative things you help those negative things grow within you.  If you focus on positive things you help those things grow within you.  Whatever you are helping to grow is what you are contributing to your life and how you are influencing the people around you.

One of the very best ways to keep your mind going in a constructive fashion is to do an exercise that you probably learned as a child called “counting your blessings.”  It’s simple.  When you are upset about something, write down that event.  Then on a different sheet of paper write down all of the things in your life that you are grateful for.  You will find that the things to be grateful for list is vastly larger than the bad things list.   When you begin to think in these terms you also start to notice the things that other people are doing that should go on the things to be grateful for list.  The world begins to become a pretty amazing place. 

I’m not suggesting that you should ignore nor hide from problems, but with a grateful mind you will be able to think in a  positive, solution oriented way instead of anything else.

Here is a video lesson about Gratitude.  This is the material we have been discussing in class for this testing cycle.

Click here for more information about our school.

Back to School Bully Busting Project!

School is about to begin! One of the issues that inevitabley pops up when school starts is bullying. With this in mind, for our students self defense project this testing cycle they will be turning in a drawing, photo, or written report on ten ways to effectively deal with a bully. Many of these suggestions can come from www.StopBulliesinAshevilleNOW.org.

Turn in your project soon for a prize from the prize vault!

For more information about our school click here!

Our Theme of This Cycle: Integrity

 

By our definition, Integrity means to always do what you think is right- no matter what everybody else is doing.  Here is a section from our students lesson packet.  

To have Integrity means to follow through with what you know is right. If you know, think, say, and believe what is right…follow through with it. Most of us know what is right.  We have an internal understanding of this. Don’t be fooled by anyone to go against this understanding of what you know inside. You will encounter many individuals who will knowingly or unknowingly attempt to sway you. Sometimes that person will be you. Be disciplined to stick to what is right by thinking and acting appropriately.

Your task for your next belt is 10 acts of Integrity. If you see someone doing or saying something you know is not right, respectfully suggest something or guide them to the right action. This may mean taking someone aside and having a polite discussion, role modeling the right way, writing them a note, pointing out someone else doing the right thing, and what benefits there are to doing so. This is sometimes difficult. However, this is what being a Black Belt Leader signifies: doing your best to live the virtues of the Black Belt all of the time, and showing (Leading the Way) others what benefits there are to doing so. Are you beginning to live by the Student Creed and the virtues of the Black Belt Leader?

Also, this cycle we are workig on defenses against grabs and locks from behind.

If you would like more information about our school just click here!

So what is Chi really?

There is all kinds of information available on the subject of chi.  Much of it is correct from a certain point of view, but the problem is that chi is an oriental concept and doesn’t really translate very well to the western mind.  The differences in culture are really just as important as the differences in language- oriental people just think differently than we do.

So here it is.  Chi is change.  A change of state like ice to water.  A change of velocity- acceleration or deceleration.  A change in temperature.  The change of seasons.  The difference between air and wind. Chi is simply when something changes.

For martial arts we are interested initially in change as it pertains to your body.  The common termonology in internal martial arts is that a person has chi or does not have chi.  This is a silly statement as everybody has chi.  Your heart pumping is chi.  Your nervous system firing is chi.  Your body is always changing and moving, and therefore has chi until you die.  For this reason, chi is often defined as “life force” or “vital energy.”  This is true enough.

To have chi for martial arts means that you are using your core muscle agility to fuel your movements while the rest of your body is melted and empty, giving you a tremendous amount of efficiency and more power then you ever thought possible.  The change we are most interested in within your body is the change within the core muscles. Not tension, not relaxation, but movement.

When you can do this you will find that you can relax every other part of your body, giving you what is called empty force.  This means that not only will you have tremendous physical power, but you will achieve a much higher degree of physical health than the average person.  They used to call this the art of immortality as practitioners of these arts would live into their 70′s and 80′s when the average person lived to their mid 20s.

Learn more about how to build chi in your body for health, longevity, or whatever else you want, click here to find out more about our school.

Abe’s Honesty Homework and Reading Assignment.

Not only do our students have to do their kung fu sequence for their next belt, they also have to write down 10 things that they could have lied about but chose to be honest instead as well as to read a martial arts related book.  Here is what Abe had to say about this.

HONESTY

1.  About what I did at home all day.

2.  Whether or not I had seven cups of water.

3.  If I brushed my teeth.

4.  If I exercized.

5.  If I did my chores.

6.  If I practiced Hebrew.

7.  If I fed the cat.

8.  If I fed the dogs.

9.  If I washed my face.

10. If I spent the whole day staring at a computer screen.

And for his reading project:

ABE’S TAKE AWAY FOR IRON AND SILK

I took three things away from this book.

1. Know matter what you are doing one should always get multiple perspectives.

2. One can’t do what they are trying to do if they don’t keep doing it.

3. There is no chance of getting what you want if you don’t ask for it.

If you would like more information about our school please click here.