Archive for the Stop Bullies in Asheville! Category

The Top 5 Reasons Kids Need Martial Arts Education.

Abe earning his Black Belt.

There are so many reasons these days that kids need to learn martial arts.  In fact, though there are numerous activities that kids can do, there are some very important things that can only be learned in a martial arts training hall.  Here are the top five reasons that your kids need to be in an authentic martial arts training program.

5. Unshakable Self Confidence tempered by Humility.

Self confidence comes from getting good at something.  It could be anything, but people gain confidence from real life successes.  However, what makes Martial Arts education unique in this regard is that not only do students have the opportunity to succeed, they also learn how to defend themselves against violence.  Quite simply, if your kids know that they stand a good chance of coming out on top when faced with a violent bad guy they become more confident.

Not to mention the great physical fitness aspects of Martial Arts training.  When your kid feels better about his or her body, their self confidence will sky rocket.

There is also a huge component of humility.  Martial Arts are unique in that they give students immediate feedback in training.  This gives kids the chance to experience failure as well as success, making the successes real.

An earned success with an understanding of failure breeds self confidence tempered by humility.

4. A keen understanding of how to set goals and reach them.

The use of belts to denote a ranking system was invented by Judo founder Jigaro Kano in the late 1800s. It was such a great idea that many other styles adopted the concept. Yes, it’s a pretty new custom, but a brilliant one.

The great thing about belts is that they provide a measurable goal system with long term goals and a series of short term goals leading up to them. Furthermore, there are specific things that must be accomplished to achieve each goal.

From the belt system, students learn how to set goals, and then build a structure of how to achieve them.  This is an incredibly valuable life skill.

3. How to effectively deal with bullies.

First off, the aforementioned Self Confidence makes Martial Arts students bad targets for bullies. Second, Martial Arts education builds a strategic mind.  This makes the student better able to see through the manipulative behavior of the bully as well as how to deal with the potential for defense against violence.

Also, bullies often lack Self Confidence.  When your kids have Self Confidence they recognize those who don’t and no longer really care about their negative statements.

2. The Strength to rise above life’s challenges and problems.

By experiencing success and failure, learning to set goals, being in great physical shape, and having a keen strategic mind your kids will have the strength to weather life’s storms and the mindset and training to find solutions.

One of the things that I personally teach in every single class is the power of a Positive Attitude,  Best Effort, and Perseverance.

“Nobody can control all of the events in their lives, but with a Positive Attitude you can shape the outcome of any event to your favor.  By putting forth your Best Effort at whatever you are doing you will get better at whatever it is until eventually you get pretty good at it. Perseverance is key, the only way to fail at the positive thing you are trying to accomplish is to quit doing it.”

Me, Every Class.

1. The Personal Power to effect real change for the better.

Everything above leads your kids to one simple conclusion: the power to make things happen, and the moral fiber to make these changes positive ones.  As a parent, all I want for my kids is for them to be happy, fulfilled, contributing members of society.  I’m willing to bet that your thoughts for your kids are pretty similar. To do this, our kids need to develop certain skill sets, build certain mindsets, and create certain personal habits.

I can’t speak for all martial arts schools, but at the White Oak Martial Arts Center we have intentionally and specifically created a curriculum designed to teach our kids the skills necessary to have the  personal power to change their lives for the better.

Click here to try out a free class.

Self Defense for the rest of us.

Self defense should not be about paranoia, it should be about mindfulness.  A large part of being mindful is to pay attention to what’s happening around you- good and bad.  If you are being mindful you are aware enough to enjoy a flower blooming, a child laughing, or an evil bad guy about to do some evil bad guy stuff.  I submit to you that by simply paying attention you will see more good things and be better able to avoid bad things.

Another part of being mindful is to be aware of possibilities.  Of course you should have a balanced approach to this as well.  Plan on and focus on the good things in your life, but prepare for the bad ones so you don’ t need to worry about them.  Have a home fire escape plan, have a home bad guy invasion plan, have an estate plan, have personal safety training of some type, all so you don’t have to think about those things very much- you already have a plan and can focus on the positive aspects of your life!

Weapons have been a big deal in the news these days, but in reality your best defense is not what is in your hand, rather it’s what is in your head.  Your plan, your strategy, and your intentions are the real self defense tools.

Ignoring bad things doesn’t make them go away, but having a plan to deal with them allows you to live your life in a much happier place. Practice mindful self defense.

For more information about our martial arts school click here.

Bad guys in the classroom.

In light of recent events, I have been researching how we can better protect our kids in schools from violent intruders.  Right now everybody is discussing their favorite politics, but nobody is really thinking about the one thing that really matters here:  what can be done in the instance of a violent intruder entering a classroom?

FEMA and the Department of Homeland Security have already put together some practices that are very reasonable.  They just need to be put into practice and drilled in schools just like a fire drill.  Speaking to my niece over Christmas, they already do this at her school in Florida.

Take a minute and check out these resources provided by FEMA and Homeland Security:

http://www.securityinfowatch.com/video/10761027/alice-training-for-active-shooters-on-campus

http://www.dhs.gov/xlibrary/assets/active_shooter_booklet.pdf

http://emilms.fema.gov/IS907/index.htm

 

And, as a shameless plug, a little personal safety and defense training never hurt anybody either.  For more information about our school please click here.

Building Black Belt Leaders.

Here is an article about one of our Black Belt candidate students, Max Masiello.  As part of our education and as part of becoming a Black Belt at our school, our students must do some form of community service project.  Max did such a good job that he made the local news.  Of course we also do all of the kicking and punching and kunging fu, but for us being a Black Belt is about a lot more than hitting things.

Here is a link to the article about Max.

http://fairviewtowncrier.com/2012/11/a-winning-project-an-outstanding-young-man-by-lynn-stanley/

 

Click here to try a free class at our school.

A Child’s Safety is an Adult’s Job.

We in the martial arts are big proponents of self defense.  It’s kind of our thing.  I feel that in our day and age self defense needs to cover a whole lot more than just defending a right hand punch. The real threats to our families are much more insidious. In this article I would like to discuss ways to avoid and deal with child abuse of any kind- emotional, violent, or sexual.

Most of these tips are taken directly from the Darkness to Light website, www.d2l.org. This non-profit organization goes into a great deal more detail than I will here and I encourage you to read further on their website-add link here. My goal today is to open up a discussion on this subject, I recognize that this may be uncomfortable and touchy for some, but it is important.

Tips for Parents:

1. Minimize Opportunity.

If You Eliminate or Reduce One-Adult/One-Child Situations, You’ll Dramatically Lower the Risk of Sexual Abuse for Children.

2. Do Background Checks.

If anybody is going to be doing stuff with your kids take the time to check them out. This isn’t foolproof, but it sure can let you know if there is a history you don’t want influencing your family.

3. Stay Alert, follow your gut, and talk about it.

Look for signs that something might be off with your kids.  Follow your intuition about this.  As Darkness to Light says, children often keep abuse a secret, but barriers can be broken down by talking openly about it. Honest dialogue works.

4. Listen to your child and contact the police.

NEVER take what your kids tell you on this matter lightly.  If your child tells you somebody is abusing them contact the police immediately.

 

Tips for Kids:

1. Follow your gut.

If a situation with an adult, whether you know them or not, seems creepy or not right then it’s not right.  Leave, find your parents, and tell them how you felt.  They care, will listen, and need to know.

2. Good touch and bad touch.

It is not okay for anybody to touch your private areas. If somebody does, asks to, or seems to want to, tell your parents or teachers.

3. Tell.

Talk to your parents or teachers honestly if something isn’t right or you just feel like something isn’t right.  They will listen and they will help you.

Here is a list of references and other resources on the subject that you may wish to look at. This is by no means all of them.

www.D2L.org

www.preventchildabuse.org

www.thecapcenter.org

 For more information about our martial arts school please click here.

Tattling vs. Getting Help.

At the White Oak Martial Arts Center, we do a great deal of things to help kids deal with being bullied.  Everything from websites, classroom presentation, to empowerment classes- you name it.  One of the things that comes up pretty much every time there is a conversation about bullying is this: what is the difference between tattling and getting help when you need it?  Kids are all told not to tattle, so often times they won’t ask for help when they need it because they are confused about the difference.

It’s simple.  Tattling is when somebody is doing something that is in no way harmful to you or anybody else and you tell on them anyway.  Getting help is when somebody is doing or saying something that is harmful to you or others and you ask an authority figure for help.

Tattling is when the kid next to you in school is doodling and you raise your hand to say, “Mrs. Jones, Bobby is drawing pictures when he should be listening to you.”  Getting help is when Bobby calls you a bad name and takes your lunch money, so you privately go to Mrs. Jones and say, “Mrs. Jones Bobby insulted me and then took my lunch money, can you please help me?”

Discuss this with your kids.

This is the kind of thing we teach at our school, if you would like more information about us please click here.

Here are some other resources on the subject.

http://www.metrokids.com/MetroKids/January-2010/Tattling-Versus-Telling/

http://www.kellybear.com/TeacherArticles/TeacherTip63.html

Black Belt Leaders have Self Control.

One of the most valuable things that martial arts students learn is self control, the ability to think before you act.  We do this through the discipline of managing ourselves, and to be honest, learning to manage force, power, and violence.  Most little boys at one time or another turn a banana into a gun, play fight and wrestle, and display other forms of “play violence.”  Little girls do as well, but differently. As a father of only girls I was amazed to learn what girl world is like. It’s a scary place:). Basically, girls are violent as well, but it is much more Machiavellian.

My point is this, violence is an attempt to build power and as humans we seek power.  This in and of itself is not a bad thing, but this power needs to be honed and focused towards positive ends.  This is where a martial arts education in self control is so important.  We address force, power, and violence directly and teach how to control these things, this quest for personal power, and how to shape the power we seek into a positive direction instead of a destructive one.

Here is a short video with this lesson as it will be taught in class.

For more information about our school click here.

Shopping Safety.

Here are some things to keep in mind to keep shopping as it should be- fun!

Shopping Safety Tips

1.     Don’t shop alone.

Shopping is always more fun with friends anyway, and there is safety in numbers.

2.     Carry your cell phone and have group meet up times and places.

If your larger group breaks up into smaller groups, make sure that there is a phone in every group. Set up a designated meeting time and place knowing that security will be called if a group is late.

3.     Don’t wear things that somebody would want to steal.

Just wear normal casual clothes.  Don’t wear expensive looking jewelry that would be theft worthy and don’t carry a pocketbook that would be easy to grab.

4.     Walk with purpose, like you are on a schedule.

If you look like you have spare time, you look like you won’t be missed for a little while.

5.     Pay attention to what is happening around you.

Always pay attention!  Be on the lookout for potential bad guys.  If you get a bad feeling about somebody, you are probably right.  Get away and find security.

6.     Don’t carry large amounts of cash.

You can call to report a card if it’s stolen….

7.     Park by a light, lock your car, and get your keys out in the store.

Look under and around your car as you approach, then look in it before you get in.  Have your keys out so you can get
into the car quickly.  If things look bad, go back into the store.

8.     Panhandlers and people who approach you are most likely scammers.

These people mostly want to see the contents of your wallet so their friend can mug you later. They are generally professionals, especially around here.

9.     If you feel threatened, find any store staff member or security.

Any store employee can call security, and any store would be happy to escort you to your car.

10.    If you are in trouble, cause a scene.

Bad guys want things to go down quietly and smoothly. So if somebody tries to hurt you, yell, scream, and generally draw
attention to yourself.

Research Project Interview Report: Children and Combat Sports

Master Derek Croley

Here is an interview that I recently gave on children and combat sports.  Basically, though I have nothing against the more common safe, regulated sport martial arts that strike or grapple (I don’t delve into sport martial arts, preferring to teach self defense applications), I am vehemently opposed to the idea of putting children into full contact fights.  In this article when discussing combat sports I am referring to full contact fighting with children.

Dear Mr. Croley,
    I’d like to thank you for taking the time out of your schedule to speak with me regarding your training methods and beliefs at White Oaks Martial Arts Center. Our talk together proved invaluable in helping me conduct research on the participation of children in combat sports. I find you to be quite knowledgeable and certainly to be a very eloquent speaker, and I only hope that my interview report does justice to your philosophies and that you are satisfied with your portrayal therein. I myself am not completely happy with its brevity, but as the father of two young children and a full-time student time management is of the essence and thus I hope you will understand. I am including a copy in this email and will mail you one also. I thoroughly believe in what you do and wish you the best in the future.

Regards,
Adam Pilkington

Adam Pilkington
Parrack-Rogers
English 111-007
Research Project Interview Report
Children and Combat Sports
October 24, 2011

                Only The Positive: A Conversation With Master Shifu Derek Croley

    While we don’t know specifically how long Asian martial arts has been around, we do know that the Chinese have been combining warfare tactics and strategies with spiritualism for many centuries. Their customs dictated for children to be taught these techniques as a way of grooming warriors for the next generation. Today children are still instructed in the same manner, albeit with the focus being on self- discipline and confidence rather than the actual fighting itself. Recently, with the rise in popularity of combat sports like Mixed Martial Arts, some parents have organized grassroots tournaments in which children strike and choke each other in competition, in stark contrast to the teachings of Asheville martial arts instructor Derek Croley.

    While conducting research for my project focusing on children’s participation in combat sports, I have read medical journal articles on the harmful effects of Mixed Martial Arts injuries and news reports of the fast-growing nature of the sport. I wanted to gain the perspective of  someone who is “in the trenches,” if you will, involved in the day-to-day teaching of children and knows just what works regarding the instruction of martial arts. Master Shifu Derek Croley is the founder and president of the White Oaks Martial Arts Center in Asheville, North Carolina, having dedicated his life to the instruction of ethical martial arts practices with over twenty-five years of teaching experience.

    One positive aspect of martial arts training for children is the physical fitness factor, a way to get sedentary children off the couch and moving. While he has personally seen overweight kids make some significant strides regarding their physical fitness through the self-discipline he teaches, Master Croley believes only the parents can shoulder most of that burden and that his primary responsibility is to foster their self-confidence and instill a positive moral attitude.

    Master Croley advocates using a structured environment to teach these skills, in this case the martial arts belt system. Students start at the bottom rung and work their way up through the different color-coded levels, or belts. “They use their self-discipline and gain confidence by accomplishing each goal in increments and then building upon that” he says.

    He allows no contact striking between students to take place in his school, though they do work with bags to learn the proper technique should they have to use violence in a self-defense situation. One of the most common questions parents ask him, he says, is “If you give my child a hammer, will they see every problem as a nail?” This is why he emphasizes escapes and blocks as his “cardinal rule.” Master Croley stresses that violence should only be used at the appropriate time, with that only being in an instance of self-defense and as the last resort.

    When asked about children participating in combat sports where striking is allowed, he comments that he does not advocate “Karate Kid style tournaments” and that in these “only the kids with a natural aptitude for fighting will excel, while those without will fail” and have their confidence crushed. “The biggest thing children will learn is that hitting hurts, and they probably already knew that” he says. He emphasizes that bullying and victimization will occur as a result, with injuries and fear being the main commodities traded through combat sports for children.

    Master Croley is a man dedicated to helping his students become “positive influences to the people around them”, and to “overcome personal fears and self-doubt.” To accomplish this, he stresses “perseverance with a positive attitude.” When asked point-blank how kids striking each other through sport might fit into his plans, “combat sports for children,” he responds, “is a horrible idea.”

For more information about out school click here.

Here are a couple of other articles on the subject.

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/03/27/national/main3971934.shtml

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2011/sep/23/children-fighting-cage-sport 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9uqq1ZlfNN0

What is Appropriate Self Defense?

I'm not sure biting the bad guy would be my first choice- but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.

Let’s talk about what is appropriate for self defense against physical force.  This admittedly is not the most pleasant of topics, but it is important to have a game plan just in case.  There really is one statement that sums it all up-

Use the smallest amount of force necessary to get away- preferably none.

The objective of self defense is to escape the bad situation alive and in good health.  Our objective is not to win, it is to survive.  There is no scoreboard in self defense and there is no movie camera.  The techniques you learn should reflect this objective.

Remember, if you started the aggression with words or actions you are no longer defending yourself, you are the bad guy.  Don’t be the bad guy by saying or doing things that are mean to others.

Here are some general guidelines to follow. 

Level 1: Non – physical Self Defense. 

The vast majority of the time that you need to defend yourself it will not be against somebody trying to hit you, it will be against somebody saying mean things or somebody trying to get you to do something unethical.  No matter how mad you get, it is never okay to physically attack somebody. Instead, here are some things that you might consider

Level 2: Cover, evade, and escape.

What if somebody tries to hit you or attack you physically somehow (without a weapon)? First, duck dodge, block, or otherwise don’t get hit.  We’ll call this cover.  Next, evade the attacker by getting out of the line of attack. This may mean that you have to redirect your attacker with a push, pull, or other nonviolent move to get them out of the way.  And then leave as quickly as possible, or escape.  It is best if these three steps are as close to one move as you can make them.

Level 3: Hitting back to create an escape route.

What if you do level 2 to avoid somebody attacking you but there is no clear escape route?  In this case hit back with the objective of creating an escape route.  The idea of this kind of attack is to distract your attacker. You may stomp on the persons foot, punch them in the nose, or use some other technique designed to distract but not do very much damage. All with the objective of creating an escape route using the smallest amount of force necessary.

Level 4: Using physical self defense.

What if somebody is physically attacking you without a lethal weapon and without lethal intent and you cannot talk your way out, cannot escape, and feel like you are in real danger of getting physically hurt by an attacker?  In this case, you can physically defend yourself with punches, kicks, or other techniques without using a lethal weapon nor lethal force.  My advice is that in this case you hit them as hard as you can with the objective of ending the fight or escaping as quickly as possible. 

Remember that your objective is always escape- so if the situation changes and it is possible to safely escape do it.  If you have to fight with your attacker, do your very best to take them out of the fight as quickly as possible.  Remember, there is no scoreboard and no movie camera.  The longer the fight lasts the more opportunity your attacker has of really injuring you.

Level 5: High stakes force.

When is it okay to seriously injure or kill somebody?  Well, obviously never.  However, it unfortunately may be necessary if you are afraid that your attacker intends to kill or seriously injure you.  For example, if your attacker has a knife or a gun or even a lethal instrument like a baseball bat. If your attacker plans to kill you then you can and should do whatever it takes to not die.  Remember, there is no such thing as a fair fight, there is only survival and escape.  Make it end as quickly as possible.

With all of these guidelines there is a consideration called “disparity of force.”  This basically means that one person could be stronger or more powerful than the other. This means that the situation changes based upon the relative size of the people in question, how many people are involved, or any other factor that could make one party stronger than the other.  When there is a disparity of force you’ll just have to decide quickly on the spot what the best way to defend yourself is. 

As always, the rule of thumb is to use the smallest amount of force necessary to get away- preferably none.  If there is any way at all to avoid a bad situation, take it.  Also remember that this is a series of guidelines to create a discussion and should not be considered legal advice.

For more information about our school, click here.